When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
