Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Panties = found
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
