We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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