Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
