how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize