girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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