paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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