i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
