i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
