I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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