another moral hangover. fuck.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
