I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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