Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
