oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
