Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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