Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
