whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Pants are for mortals
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