Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we have pet lesbian snakes
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
