I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
