Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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