how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
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Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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