I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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