were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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