I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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