My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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