I want to walk on stilts...naked
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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