Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
