hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
