he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
