I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
