i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
