he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
