the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
