so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
