i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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