YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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