She's JV to your varsity
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
