I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
