Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
