I can tuck mytits in my pants
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The power of my boobs compel you
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
