you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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