OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
