Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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