i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
