What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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