Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
