are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
