girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
