ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
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The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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