Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
