is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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