Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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