i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
