I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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