If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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