Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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