does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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