Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
