She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
