Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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