There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will be naked everywhere
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
