the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
my sisters under your porch take her home
where does the pee come out of this thing
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
