He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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