Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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