Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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